Wednesday, 20 November 2013

Bloggers on Bullying: My Experiences


I've been bullied a lot. Not as much as some people I know, but a lot. In primary school I was constantly being called 'fat' and not just by children, but by adults too. I wasn't even fat.  My Year 1 teacher was abusive - she would call the other kids horrible things and once when I did something that she didn't like, she grabbed me by the neck of my school jumper and shouted in my face. Yeah, I'm pretty sure she wasn't allowed to do that... 

In secondary school I was no longer called fat. Instead, people chose to call me any other name they could think of and occasionally it would be physical instead of just name-calling. They would make comments on the way I look and they would ruin my things. They didn't think there was anything wrong with hitting someone round the head for no reason. It even progressed to cyber-bullying.

However, that only lasted through Year 7 and 8. Year 9 was completely different because I no longer cared what they thought and I had a bigger group of awesome friends. I wouldn't say I've been bullied a lot. I was pretty popular in Year 9 for some reason; maybe because I finally knew who I was and because I had finally become comfortable with who I am - Jessie J's song 'Who You Are' helped me realise that. Because I know first-hand that bullying is a horrible experience, I thought I'd tell you what I did. Even if this post only helps one person, I'll be happy.

1) Laugh...
I know it sounds weird, but hear me out. If someone is bullying you, laugh at them. It will completely throw them off. They might think you're a bit weird for it but hey, they were bullying you before so they probably already thought it. Laughing makes it look like what they're doing is not getting to you. If they realise they're getting underneath your skin, they will carry on. They're just doing it for the entertainment, so don't give them any, you're not a TV.

2) ...or just completely ignore them.
Act like they're not there. Don't say anything, don't look at them. If they're as unintelligent and unimaginative as most bullies, they won't know what to do so they'll walk away.

3) Talk back.
Okay so maybe this isn't the wisest of my suggestions, but you need to stand up for yourself at some point. Plus, if you say something really intelligent, it's hilarious looking at the "whaa?" expressions on their faces afterwards. If you're full of clever comebacks and a pro at eyebrow-raising go for it. If not, well...you might be getting yourself into more trouble.

4) Tell a trusted adult.
No, this does not make you a wuss, or a tell-tale, or a wimp. Telling an adult is probably your best bet at getting the person to stop bullying you. I'm not ashamed to admit that one of the tactics I used when I was being bullied in Year 7 was telling my parents and my head of year. Within a week it was sorted and the girl never came near me again. She never apologised for the endless list of things she did to me but you can't get everything in life. If the person bullying you is an adult themselves, this is a different kind of abuse and you should tell a different adult such as a teacher, parents or the police. Everything will be easier after that.


5) Remember why they're bullying you.
In all honesty, they're not bullying you because you look weird or because you talk differently or because you always have your head stuck in a book. They're doing it because either that's how they've been treated or because they're going through some tough things in life. It's no excuse but remembering this will help how you mentally face the situation. Don't be scared of them, pity them and remember there is nothing wrong with you. It's them.

I would like to end this post by saying you're special and you'll get through this. Unless you're one of the people who bullied me before, because I happen to know that some of them still read this blog. If that's you then I'm sorry you have such a hard time in life that you feel the need to take it out on others by bullying them. That's not the answer.

A fantastic eBook by YA author Siobhan Curham was published on November 18th. It gives you tips on beating the bullies, encouraging words of wisdom and it's FREE! One of my poems is also in there, which I wrote in the hope that it will help any victims of bullying. Click here to find out more!

If you ever need someone to talk to, you can always send me a DM @MileLongBookS on Twitter. I don't judge. :)

Have you had any experiences with bullying? How did you deal with it?

'Bullying' image source.

3 comments:

  1. What a great post, Amber. I'm sorry you were bullied so horribly - I was too, in year 7, 8 and beginning of year 9. It only really stopped because I moved tutor groups. You gave some great advice, unfortunately, my school was pretty rubbish when dealing with bullying but whatever, your advice still stands! Don't go through it alone and don't let it get to you.

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  2. Great and inspiring post! That was horrible what happened to you. I was bullied for a year, name calling and landing me in trouble, and it affected every other aspect of my life. Later, I realized the situation and stood up for myself! Best feeling in the world! :D

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  3. This is such a great post, Amber - so inspirational and full of wisdom. Thanks so much for sharing your personal experiences...

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